It's been a while really. Feb of 2008 was my last log-in/post.
I'm in college still... a Junior as it is. 4.0 in my area which is networking/business and a 3.89 overall at the moment (may go up... may go down not sure yet). College has gotten harder, life too. Things from the past and thoughts of the future race through my mind at times like these. I'm at a cross roads and all I know is my heading. If I follow the direction I want to go in then maybe... MAYBE I can make it to where I belong. But I feel like strange winds blow anymore. Lies sweep through fields like warfare. Worry is my only friend from time to time. I keep this page secret to everyone really. I've only shown a few people and they forget about me pretty quickly. Hell usually I think no one reads these but me years later... maybe it becomes a testimony to my life. Maybe someone can read it and take something from it, if not just for a fleeting moment... and feel something significant. Life right now is like merging onto a very busy freeway. The lanes of traffic are jammed full and there is no room. There is no way to stop and the only solution is to ride the shoulder and hope that something opens up to let you in. Then all you accomplish however is being in the fast lane. Getting passed by people taking bigger risks; passing people who have had their time. All chaos but moving the same way at that instance.

Have you ever met a friend? I have. Several times. Where are they now? I don't know. I recall so many people I knew and trusted and shared experiences with that have vanished. Living their own lives (if they still have lives to live). I sometimes feel like time is running out to do the things I love. 1.5 years left and I will be done with college. The easy part is over. Marriage, Job, House, family... Can I manage all this? I guess I can because I see other people (who, not to be cruel by saying, are not the most ... noble and elegant people. And I see these people living their lives, eating food watching TV living in the Ol' USA. Some are being payed by the Gov. but pride won't let me do that... I'd rather live on the streets and work an honest job than live off the gov. for too long. But I digress... I've had friends and I wonder where they are now. So how can I trust that the friend I have now are going to be here when I log back on here again and type up how I feel.

Here is my status:
G/f: still Carrie Beth... almost 6 years now. And yes, she's still a virgin :-P
Family: My Dad isn't really well all of the time... doesn't take his medicine on time for diabetes. Papa passed away a while back... don't think I wrote about that. Was near Christmas... presents still under the tree... very sad; I miss him.
Pet: Max Finally passed away... just got too sick, buried him out back under a butterfly bush he loved to sit under. Got two new cats... a feisty little part Siamese and a loving but honery(can't spell) tortus color... named Zoey and Jazmine (I think that is how my mom spells them).
Writing today: because its 3 AM and I feel lonely. Life is too short.